Saturday 11 August 2012

My Favourite Hearse

I know that most people probably don't have a favourite hearse. But I do.
It's like having a favourite cash machine (The cockney cash points) or a favourite number (43.2×10¹⁵), you don't pick a favourite unless you happen to see an incredible one.
And I saw an amazing hearse.

It happened about three years ago, just a normal day. I was walking home from somewhere.
In the distance I notice a hearse. At first I thought it was a normal hearse, just a long black car driving slowly with flowers and stuff.
But then I spot a weird shape on the roof. I'm not sure what it is yet. I think it's made of flowers.
Closer now, yes it is definitely made flowers. It looks like a box, no it looks like tower. It's sort of mostly black with a layer of white on top. What is it?
It is a floral pint of Guinness.

I was amazed. I had never seen anything so incredible.
Here was someone who thought "Just because I'm dead that doesn't mean everybody has to be sad, I'm putting the 'fun' into 'funeral', putting the 'cor' into 'corpse', putting the 'ha' into 'hearse'". (I know that last one is a bit of a stretch).

At this point I was straining not to giggle at a funeral, I felt quite bad but this was brilliant.
Then it got better, because as the car went passed me, revealed in the window, three massive floral letters, spelling out one word.

'NAN'.

I could barely contain myself.

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