Tuesday 23 September 2014

A Short History Of Sibling Rivalry

Let's have a quick look back at the history of sibling rivalry by reviewing some of the most tempestuous sibling arguments.

ROMULUS AND REMUS

Romulus and Remus were the mythical brothers who founded Rome. They were twins, so if it helps picture Danny DeVito as Romulus and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Remus. 


Romulus is standing on a box in this picture
Romulus and Remus



The pair were discussing how they should arrange the aqueduct, roads, irrigation, medicine, education, wine, baths, order and peace. The topic then came up of what to call the city, Remus wanted it to be called "Wolfland" for their adoptive lupine mother, but Romulus being more narcissistic declared it should be called "Romulus' Outdoor Market and Entertainatorium!", later abbreviated to "Rome". 


As they couldn't agree what to call it they played rock, paper, scissors. Remus' rock crushed Romulus' scissors but then Romulus got into a mood complaining that game didn't count because paper wouldn't be invented for another 850 years. In a fit of rage Romulus picked up his shovel screaming about how it can break rocks and hit Remus in the head knocking him into an early grave. And the city of Romulus' Outdoor Market and Entertainatorium! was born. 


THE WRIGHT BROTHERS

On the 17th of December 1903, the Wright's made their first powered flight. 


The first flight


As it was so close to Christmas the pair decided to exchange gifts first. The conversation went as follows.


Wilbur: Hey Orvy before we start I'd like to give you this. Merry Christmas
Orville: Thanks Wil, Oh wow a sculpture of the two of us, with wings! I love it, I love it so much 
W: I've, er, been working on it at night for three months. So, um, what did you get me?  
O: Well I thought us working on the plane was a big gift to each other, so...  
W: We, we never said that. Orville you pulled this last year as well! You owe two Christmas presents now 
O: We've been really busy, how could I have had enough time to... You're right, I've been being selfish 
W: Yeah, you have 
O: Well it's not Christmas yet. I've still got time 
W: Okay 
O: And I'll tell you what, you can have the first go in the plane.  
W:Okay.  
O: Feeling better? 
W: a bit.
Despite Orville's attempts Wilbur was still a bit upset and the whole day felt awkward.


THE BRONTËS

The only evidence of the tension between Branwell and his sisters was from this painting he did of all of them in 1834. Because of rift between him and his sisters he later felt the need to paint himself out of it but here Branwells image has been restored. 

This image has been altered.
Anne, Emily, Branwell and Charlotte

NAPOLEON AND PAULINE BONAPARTE 

Napoleon
Pauline
Napoleon had a sister named Pauline, who was something of a tearaway. In 1806 Napoleon made her duchess and princess of the town Guastalla. While she enjoyed being a princess she didn't like the responsibility of being a duchess so she sold the duchy for 6000000 francs. (That was worth the equivilent of loads more in modern money. I'd have probably done the same thing.) 
Napoleon stopped giving her nice presents after that. 

When Napoleon got exiled Pauline sold everything she had to go look after him, so I guess they worked things out in the end.

Speaking of Napoleon...

THE LUMIÈRE BROTHERS 

Auguste and Louis were pioneers of cinema in the 1890s. Their sixth movie Les Forgerons originally had the title Crapoleon (which was an incredible offensive french swear word at the time though it has since disappeared from common use.) Crapoleon featured two blacksmiths hammering an anvil then getting drunk, satirizing Napoleons leadership and public profile. The brothers clashed over whether to use the swear word in the films title, a clash which ended in a brawl. 

In the end censorship won and Crapoleon was renamed to avoid controversy and the films satirical plot was lost. 

The 47 second film can be viewed here



I suppose the point of all this is don't fight with your sibling. It's rarely worth it. 


Wednesday 11 June 2014

Judy The Donkey

I don't know how many donkeys are given graves. I guess if a donkey is given a grave it must be a pretty special donkey. I'd like to tell the story of one of Liverpool's forgotten heroes, Judy The Donkey (1905-1926).


This grave lies in Princes Park where Judy The Donkey (or JTD for short) famously gave children rides around the lake for no charge. On Judy's days off she could often be seen swimming in the Mersey or relaxing in Ye Hole In The Wall on Hackins Hey.

Although Judy was already a local celeb, it was an incident in October 1909 that made her a hero. A group of teenagers decided to see how many people they could fit on to on to one of the lake boats, the previous record was eight and they smashed it by fitting fifteen people on. Once the overloaded boat was in the center of the lake gravity took hold and the boat started to sink. As soon as JTD heard their cries for help she rushed to the edge of the lake, dived in, and one by one dragged all fifteen of the drenched delinquents to safety. 
No one was seriously injured and Judy saved the day.

From then on things went up and up for JTD.

Judy was the guest of honor at the opening of the Liver Building on the 19th of July 1911 and the organizers wanted her to cut the ribbon but unfortunately donkeys don't know how to hold scissors. Instead Lord Sheffield ceremonially smeared some peanut butter on the ribbon so that JTD would chew through it and therefore officially declare the Liver Building open.

Judy (second donkey on the left), on a day out in New Brighton


While attending the 1919 Grand National (as a spectator not a competitor) the look in Judy's eye as she watched the horses was reported to have been "Oh you fools, can't you see they're exploiting you! Making you run at stupid speeds while they whack you. Why do feel the need to degrade yourselves to this level?". The races winner, Poethlyn aged 9 from Bangor, was said to have given JTD a glance which said "Well if you don't like it why are you here? I enjoy my job and all of us who made it to the finish line are glad. Sorry if it's too exciting for the park donkey". Judy stormed out in a fit of rage. The pair made up the following year and became lifelong friends. Poethlyn later admitted that he had overreacted partly due to the fact that as he crossed the finish line the crowd were chanting Judy's name not his. 

By 1924 Judy had retired from public appearances, only returning to Princes Park on major holidays, always to crowds of fans and well wishers. As much as she adored her public, the constant intrusion into her private life was becoming too much to bear.

JTD passed away peacefully in 1926 surrounded by loved ones and was buried in the park that she had donated so much of her time to.

List of notable features of Princes Park