People shouldn't ask for my opinions.

I often fill out online surveys and usually see them as a chance to have fun.
I'm not the only one, occasionally you hear about surveys to find what people hate most/ what people find most boring/ what people find most irritating, and so on. The number one answer is usually 'filling out surveys'. 

The following examples are from when my University has wanted my opinion on improving the course.

 Did you enjoy the practical side of this module?
"Yes. Deconstructing a thingy was really fun."

What did you think of the teaching of this module?
"There was very little teaching. And I often wasn't paying attention."

How could the maths lessons be improved?
"If the maths taught could be related to real life situations. That would be good.
Like in primary school. 'Jane has three apples, she eats one. How many apples does Jane have?'
It could be 'Jane has three apples and four imaginary bananas. She eats one apple and finds an imaginary tomato. How will Jane cope?'"

And this when the guild (our student union) asked 'What should the guild start doing?'
 "Handing out free cash."

A survey on the BBC website asked 'What do you dislike about the iPlayer site?'
"Well, it only does TV and radio.
It would be good if I could use it order food or buy DVDs or practice word puzzles.
But no, you decide that watching TV and radio is enough. Well it's not enough for me!
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I have been visiting other websites behind your back.

Please forgive me!"

I may add more examples as time goes on. 

Wibbly Wobbly.

On Friday during a lecture we were asked to suggest ways of shortening the assembly time of any given thing.

I wrote on my notepad...
"Assemble whilst travelling near to the speed of light so that time stretches. It wont mean that you make it quicker but it will mean that the time taken will be shorter relative to everything else".

Right, now I realise I got that the wrong way round. The time taken to assemble the thing would be longer relative to everything else. So you would have make everyone else travel near to the speed of light while you assemble the thing, and I'm just not sure it's worth the effort.

My excuses for getting it wrong are

• I was really tired that morning 
• I am not an expert

I could still be wrong, I'm not sure.

Of course, to actually travel at the speed of light you would have be completely massless and that could make assembling the thing more difficult.

Maybe I'm over thinking it.

Shopping List.

Today, during a lecture, I decided to find out how nosey the guy sitting next to me was.
So I took out my little pad and wrote down 'shopping list'.
I preceded to write 'Pepsi' and 'satsumas', fairly normal shopping, and then turned it up a notch by adding 'heroin'.
He didn't notice.
I continued to write absurd and strange things broken up by clusters of normal things.
Eventually I ran of space on the page and just left it on the desk between me and him.

Here is the full list...

About 5 minutes passed before he glanced at it. It caught his eye.

He tapped me on the shoulder and said "Tinsel and lipstick, Are you secretly a cross-dresser?"
My response, "Sometimes".

He then listed all the drugs I'd written and said I must have quite a weekend planned.
I said "It's amazing what you can buy in Asda".



So basically he wasn't nosey enough to read over my shoulder while I was still writing the list, but he did read it afterwards. I think that gives him a score of 4 on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is completely ignoring and 10 is News of the World.

P.s. Apologies for my poor handwriting.